8 minutes into 2008

My new year's eve consisted of:

not getting dressed, at all.

lazing.

eating.

looking at my new book.

drawing.

talking.

working.

bathing.

eating.

drawing.

talking.

sleeping.










............here's to 2008! waaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Trash

messages.

twas a merry christmas + pictures

I really love my family and food and wine a lot. :)

and something i need to remember..

(from the book i just mentioned)


"I DON'T HAVE TO BE COOL. I DO NOT HAVE TO BE SLENDER. I DO NOT HAVE TO BE TRICKY. I DO NOT HAVE TO BE SMOOTH. I DO NOT HAVE TO BE SILENT. I DO NOT HAVE TO BE LOUD. I DO NOT HAVE TO BE SLICK. I DO NOT HAVE TO BE HER. I DO NOT HAVE TO BE LOVED BY THEM TO BE OKAY. I DO NOT HAVE TO HOLD ON SO TIGHTLY. I DO NOT HAVE TO AGREE TO BE ACCEPTED. I DO NOT HAVE TO WEAR COVER-UP. I DO NOT HAVE TO BE COVERED UP. I DO NOT HAVE TO PREDICT. I DO NOT HAVE TO PREPARE (FOR THE PAIN). I DO NOT HAVE TO GRASP. I DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE THE ANSWERS. I DO NOT HAVE TO BE BETTER. I DO NOT HAVE TO BE COOL. I ONLY HAVE TO BE WHO I AM."

tis the season to...

get ill, get drunk, eat too much, buy too much, eat some more, drink some more, slump into a depressed state, get ill again, get drunk again......

Aaaahhh Christmas!

I went Christmas shopping and amongst the presents for other people I bought a nice book for myself.. it's called The True And The Questions by Sabrina Ward Harrison. You're meant to write and draw and stuff in it yourself, it's like a prompted journal.. or something. But I like it as it is, it's already full of meaning and feeling. I'm hoping it's going to inspire me.

I have had toooooo many problems in my first term and now I'm all over the place and also thinking a bit that maybe illustration isn't for me so much. I'm considering moving to fine art. But I don't know I need to do a lot of thinking.. (more?!) argh. God, I don't know. Maybe I'll do some scribbling and see what happens..

a couple of pictures

seeing as i have been so slack with them recently.. here are a few.

a belated halloween drawing and a few from my sketchbook:

stranger

So apparently my mac that I bought off Ash really hates this site and won't let me ever update it... but I'm at home in Devon right now so I can.

Millions of things have happened since I last posted..

I've taken the biggest step ever in my life and moved to Bristol to start my illustration course. Bristol is probably the best thing ever. I absolutely love it and the course looks like it's going to be brilliant, everyone is really lovely and I need to stop being so shy and make some proper friends. I don't think I've ever had a class ever in my life where I didn't know anyone.. so it's quite hard really.
I'm living right in the city centre in a Unite building and it is a really nice place because it's just been refurbished.. they're still doing it though really our lift still isn't done and a few other things. It's really good living with one of my close friends and having another 2 floors below me.. I've met some really really lovely people in that building. . but the rest of our flatmates are horrible and make me die inside. I'm a nice person and I think I'm pretty easy to live with so I don't know what their problems are.. but hopefully this week I am sorting out moving to another flat in the building.
Because of these horrible people I'm never in my flat and therefore I haven't been getting much work done.. it's made me really stressed and tired and all sorts so i'm home to catch up with some work and sort everything out.

Everything will be fiiiiiinnnnnneeeeeeeeee.

I haven't got any pictures or anything to post.. go on my artspace to see any in the near future because the old mac is prejudice against blogging.

just a thought..

i can't wait until i have enough time to get into drawing properly again..... eeerrrrrrrrrfffffffffffffffffffffffff

chop chop

my hair got chopped and i am a bit sad because i think it's shorter than i wanted it.. it's sort of a 60s bob. i look a bit boyish and strange at the moment. i'm not used to it. i think if i lost a bit of weight it would look better because my face would be more defined and i wouldn't look so strange i think. stupid food and laziness.

it's just under 18 days until uni! woooooooooo! i couldn't sleep last night though because i'm all fluttery hearted about it. argh!

enough waffle.

dog hog blog

oh how lovely. my mum's friend geoff bought me things things for uni. they cost a pound each. i'm not sure what that little wooden man is for, but i sure love him. i'm going to eat off that dog hog plate every day and laugh hysterically. and three little plates for cake! so sweet. my flatmates will probably think i am a bit of a freak, but at least our crockery won't get all mixed up, eh!

my grandmother has also given me her old pans and they're all flowery!

my uncle gave me £10 for a teapot.

life is good.

things for emmyemma

here are the things i made for emma for her belated birthday present. she likes getting post so i thought i would post it to her. i made the envelope all pretty with flowers and flicky paint and big writing. (i covered her address so she doesn't receive any parcel bombs.) The letter is along a similar line, with the same colours but bolder! and a nice little pattern that i have decided to get tattooed on my foot/ankle. and a real life butterfly! like on kayleigh's letter i circled the letters so em has to have fun putting them together to see what i have to say! aaannnddd i have also made her a little kitty! i think she should be called tugela or amelie, but i have left that up to emma to decide. lovely.

:)

Life is so super sweet.

things for kayleigh

These are some things for Kayleigh. It is a small squishy cat called Freckle. Freckle has no eyes or mouth, but Freckle has a furry tummy and a heart for a nose. I have also drawn/painted a picture of Kayleigh and wrote a bit of a letter by circling the letters on a book page. Aww. I have sent it to her today. I hope she gets it tomorrow and I hope she likes it!

cat

I made a cat. It is a bit deformed. He is called Blonky.

02.07.07 and 05.07.07

A couple more belated pages. Not much to say..

24.06.07 and 29.06.07

A couple of belated pages.

27.06.07

And I had no idea what to say to him then. Before words had never been a problem. Before I felt like I could say anything.

How things change.

Blahblahblah.

22.06.07

visual diary from friday.

found items, masking tape, white gouache paint, fineliner, pencil.

c is for..

I really, really hate you.

over

The wallowing is over. Now I'm onto the clearing and cleaning stint. Wheeeeeeee.

Don't think I got the Teddy Bear Shop job...

Haven't been keeping up with my drawings..


Fuck it, I'm going out to party tonight. And I'm going to party so fucking haarrrrddddd.

b is for

boy?

alphabetty

I am passing my days by slowly filling out job application forms, drawing fun pictures of girls and eating jam tarts to make myself feel better.

Wallow, wallow, wallow.

I have a henna tattoo and I like it.

karma?

Hmmmmm I think I could be experiencing karma. Because I wasn't honest and open with someone about how I felt, and now someone isn't being honest and open with me about how they feel, and it's pretty shit tbh.

I don't know though.

Thinking of starting a visual diary over the summer. Otherwise I'll forget how to draw.
Also considering buying some cheap clothes and sewing into them and stuff and selling them on.

done and dusted.

College is pretty much over. I can't actually believe it..

I can't imagine not seeing my little fags every day.. not going for constant breaks.. not talking shit with them alllllll the time.

Butttt I will see them lots throughout the summer hopefully! I need to get a job too... argh.

Can't quite relax properly yet - still need to do my colour theory for Monday, and I really want to know what grade I got.
I was pretty happy with my exhibition work. I personally think it looks really good, and I hope I get a good grade. I'd really like a disctinction but I don't think I've got enough work.. we'll see.

I bought 3 bikinis today.... to compensate for the fact that I couldn't get the one I actually really wanted in my size.. argh!

oooof

I really can't wait until college is over, so I can work out what is actually happening in my braaaiiiiinnnn.

i know not a violent kind

so this is what i've done today.

i have also nearly finished my book of sorries "not nearly enough".

still a lot to do before the exhibition next friday.

listen to Dntel.

My birthday outing was pretty much really good.

My face is still really really dry from my allergic reaction and I refuse to go outside.

I need to get on with tidying up and doing some work anyway though..


I sold some stuff on Ebay, and got about £30.. then spent it on Amazon.. fucksake I actually am incapable of saving! ARGH!

for my birthday i got

an allergic reaction and my eyes swelled!


but apart from that it's been a brilliant day.

i'm making a little tiny book to go inside a matchbox!


:)

:()

Argh. Argh argh argh. How much am I going to miss my art class ? RIDICULOUS AMOUNTS. Argh. I really love them loadssssssssssssss. I might cry right now.

I started drawing this:

And I also did this, inspired by Maria Arango:

meow

I have cheered up a lot now. Silly old me..

I went to see An Albatross last night, they were brilliant and lovely like last time.
Me and Charli got very drunk again. And we tried to get her to run away with the guitarist. Again.





I have taken to having naps in the afternoon in the corner of my room behind my bed. It's very cosy and my mum doesn't know I am there. Before I fall asleep I wish quite hard that I would wake up as a cat. So far, though, it hasn't come true..

blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah

everything seems wrong.




scans of my new book on my deviantart.

hah

I think I have pulled a muscle in my stomach.. never thought I'd see that day.

Also, got a Daily Deviation on DeviantArt.

Also, got a myspace for just my art stuff.



Also, can't concentrate on my college project for shit.

grown up stuff..

So, house hunting and things was T-I-R-I-N-G yesterday!

First we went to the Arnolfini because I saw an interesting book in the window, and ended up buying a few really awesome magazine things. They're absolutely lovely, the sort of thing I hope to end up doing really, amongst other things.

Then we went on a hunt for Drake House I think it was. We found it eventually and I decided instantly that I didn't want to live there as it was on a really busy road and it was soooo noisy.
Then we had another walk to find another one I can't remember what it was called but it was on Bond Street which is RIDICULOUSLY busy. I mean, I want to live in Bristol and have that city experience after living in a village my whole life, but I don't want to walk outside and instantly be hit by looooads of traffic and fumes and building sites! It's just scary. So that's off the list too.

We went up to Frenchay to get Beth, and on the way went through this part of Bristol that seemed like a little village! It was so cute. Anyway then we went down to the area Beth was thinking of getting a house - Ashley Down/Horfields. Both areas are really nice, and we found St. Andrews and Montpelier are absolutely awesome as well, and close to a main bus route and closer to the city centre as well.

Then we found Culver House after a lot of searching and some incredible map reading by meeee. And it looks like it could be a contender. Super close to the city centre, but tucked away so it's not really overwhelming. On Park Street as well which is a really nice area. Sort of leaning towards this at the moment because it's so convenient for everything, no need to get taxis home! Aaaaand I won't have to pay for it over the summer which I probably would for a house. And it's cheap too, like £63 a week I think! Bargain!

Probably be going up again some time soon to look inside Culver House and hopefully some houses tooooo!
Need to do a lottttttttttt of thinking and investigating!

Eeeeeek! I feel so grown up.




In other news, I am making another book, and it's going really well so far. It's pretty small, but niceeee. I will probably post scans later.

grown up stuff

I'm going up to Bristol tomorrow to look at halls and houses with Beth who's already at UWE.

It's excitiiiiiiiiing!

I feel so grown up! :)

ROAR !

This sort of just happened while I was experimenting earlier..

Witty?


Yup yup yup.


I really wish I could concentrate on doing things for college instead of this silliness..

i'm in

I got into Bristol

IN YOUR FACE PAV FOR SAYING I HADN'T DONE ENOUGH WORK!



I win I win!

As long as I get a good grade I guess.. they haven't actually said what I need to get, but...

YAY :D

woops whales

I still haven't scanned have I.. soon though.


Read this and love life:

It’s all about being alive. Being nothing and everything at the same time. Being a part of a greater whole. It’s all about having the strength to be fragile. Being broken into thousands of pieces each with their own unique emotion. It’s all about being transparent, joyfully clear. A biological mapping of feelings, all exposed and revealed. It’s all about beauty. It’s all about being a part of the beauty. Being a fragment of the gorgeous blue thing we all live on. Earth. A world of art in its clearest natural representation. It’s about gazing at the world and just being a poet, a painter, a musician. Being an artist as a result of being alive. Our mere existence as an artistic act. It’s but a simple question. Why waste the beauty if you are the beauty? It’s all about love. It’s about feeling beautiful for life’s most minute details. It’s being aware, perfectly and clearly, of every moment that passes. It’s all about a spark. The first spark lighting up when all started to be. A spark being us and we still being that spark. It’s all about the future. The future being love. If we are love, we are the future. Love. Light up. Follow. Follow your own whale.

Listen to their music too here


Bristol still haven't gotten back to me yet, so I still don't know whether I'm in or not.

But I am totally loving everything at the moment, enjoying my last summer at home, despite some minor setbacks.
I'm still shininggggggg

tings and tings

It's been a while.

Pretty sure concentrating on my work the past few weeks was really worth it, as I got a high merit grade in my college assessment (wheeee! close to distinction!) and my interview at Bristol went pretty well:

We had to put our folios in a room and then we went off on a tour (that I had already done twice..)
Then when we came back we had interviews. I was one of the first!
It was a reeeaaally short interview, which was a little bit disappointing because I had thought of lots of things to say to make them want me, but oh well.
They said they really liked my work, told me a bit about the course, I asked a few questions and was all enthusiastic and stuff.
I was sooo nervous but it went pretty well I think!

I will know the verdict in the next couple of weeks.
Fingers crossed for me please!


I may have some fun with my scanner and post up what I've been busy doing lately.
We'll see, eh.

busybusy

beeeeeeeeeeeee.


I have a lot of work that I want to do before my interview at Bristol on 13th April, so I probably won't update this for a while.


laters gaters.

and

there were kids playing basketball outside my window, creating some new irregular beat that I couldn't dance to no matter how hard I tried.

sensitive wrinkle

The other day I sat in the shower so long that I turned into a wrinkle.

I also got an awesome shiny brilliant sewing machine and finished my book just in time for assessment.

I went in today to show my mum the exhibition and my friends' work that I really like, and I found out I got a Merit Plus or something. Kate also got this and we're in the top of the class. Chris got a distinction, the only one in the class. Well done him, eh.
Pav, our tutor, said my work was very sensitive and lovely aha. I think he was just being nice because my mum was there though..

Next deadline is my Bristol interview.. and I have a few big drawings I want to do for my portfolio before then, so I will continue working hard for a couple of weeks. Then get totally wrecked after my interview. Hopefully Kane, Kate and Charlie will be coming up too :D adventure!

Here is the front of the book that I made, and a couple of the pages..

up the throat

Today I feel a little bit better, but not well enough for college..

Oli is going in to put my drawing up. He is a life saver.

I drew this today, it's pencil on greaseproof paper, so it can just be the image of the girl, like so..

Or the secret/breath coming up her throat and out of her mouth, like so..

I like it better without though I think.

There is another layer on top, of her hair, but I want to sew into that, and I don't get a sewing machine until tomorrow, so it's not finished..

I started this drawing too. It's a bit blah though.

silly

Ooohh first ever blog post thingy. How exciting.

Why must I get ill at the most inconvenient times?

Tonight I am meant to be meeting a friend and giving her cuddles.

And my college exhibition is meant to be up be tomorrow.

But nooooo. I have to get ill and want to sleep and just eat cake all the time. Pity we have no cake.

I have no energy to do anything at all.

But I drew this for my book about secrets.

Nothing special.